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I feel like Odysseus.
HighonFez
post May 9 2010, 06:20 PM
Post #1





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It all started at around 1:00. I was just going to go to a soccer field by me and play around for a bit. Then I decided to keep riding my bike south into the downtown area of Milwaukee. Saw some cool sights, waved hi to some little kids, gave a hobo some change. I stopped at an outfitter store to check out the clearance skis and such but they'd already put them away for the season, so I decided to make the trip all the way to Whitefish Bay to go to a ski shop I frequent. I start taking Lake Drive, the route I know, and there's all this construction, so I weave through suburbia on my way there and decide to stop at another field to kick the ball around. On to Les Moise. Annnd it's closed for mother's day. Awesome. It's about this time when my mp3 player dies (it's a little one so it had been My Roaring 20's and Goodbye Cool World on repeat). I start my way back but since my tires were low I decided to fill them up ever so slightly at a gas station. Let it be known that when you explode a bike tube it sounds like a flash-bang grenade. Fuck, I do a lot of dumb things. This happened right by Estabrook Park, so I decided to hike some trails through the woods on the way walking home. I even walked past a bike shop on the way in, but I didn't have my wallet on me. I hop some creeks and come out next to some soccer fields, so that made it three shooting sessions for the day. Finally I got home and checked online to find out that every bike shop in Milwaukee is closed at 5 on a Sunday. Drove to rescue my stranded bike, got it home, carried it down to the basement and when I set it down I heard a tink, tink sound on the cement. The fucking brake pad housing broke off. Now it's 6:00 and I'm eating Costco sushi and have some crazy shin splints. Google maps tells me I biked about 11 miles. Fiasco is more accurate, but let's just call it an adventure.

TL;DR I rode bike 11 miles. Played soccer at 3 different fields. Exploded my tire at a gas station. Walked home. Am tired.


Post your lame stories here.


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Jesus Christ
post May 9 2010, 07:31 PM
Post #2





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QUOTE (highonpez @ May 9 2010, 07:20 PM) *
Saw some cool sights, waved hi to some little kids, gave a hobo some change to buy his heroin. But the homeless man returned, and he gave me back a dime. He said put it in your sock my friend and save it for another time.

TL;DR This one goes out to the friends I never had


Fixed


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RotatingHornSect...
post May 9 2010, 07:33 PM
Post #3


Will never get a cool title


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So, you fucked your mom then?


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mrfancycrackers
post May 9 2010, 07:35 PM
Post #4





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11 miles isn't that long a bike ride, you candy ass.


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HighonFez
post May 9 2010, 07:38 PM
Post #5





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And like a mile and a half on foot. It was a biathlon.


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adsfkahsdf
post May 9 2010, 07:39 PM
Post #6


One Year Awesome


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QUOTE (RotatingHornSection @ May 9 2010, 07:33 PM) *
So, you fucked your mom then?

That was Oedipus.
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RotatingHornSect...
post May 9 2010, 07:40 PM
Post #7


Will never get a cool title


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QUOTE (adsfkahsdf @ May 9 2010, 08:39 PM) *
That was Oedipus.





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HighonFez
post May 9 2010, 07:40 PM
Post #8





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I was wondering what the hell he was getting at. Haha, silly Rotating.


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optimus prime
post May 9 2010, 07:43 PM
Post #9





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QUOTE (highonpez @ May 9 2010, 07:20 PM) *
Post your lame stories here.


Enter sonoflamestoriesiii
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RotatingHornSect...
post May 9 2010, 07:50 PM
Post #10


Will never get a cool title


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QUOTE (optimus prime @ May 9 2010, 08:43 PM) *
Enter sonoflamestoriesiii


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adsfkahsdf
post May 9 2010, 07:56 PM
Post #11


One Year Awesome


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I would have been pumped if my screen name appeared by mistake in that post. It did not...

This post has been edited by adsfkahsdf: May 9 2010, 07:57 PM
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VIXotreb
post May 9 2010, 08:38 PM
Post #12





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QUOTE (RotatingHornSection @ May 9 2010, 07:50 PM) *
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jl;dfjl;aljdjlaf;jlkd;lljksdljafjd;klasfasdfasfdadsfasfdasfdasfd insane hijinks from the night

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d
jlaf;jlkd;lljksdljafjd;klasfasdfasfdadsfasfdasfdasfd consequences of my actions the day after

asd;fljka;s;jlsfsjlkfdjl;asfdjl;dfjl;aljdjlaf;jlkd;lljksdljafjd;klasfasdfasfdads
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a
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;
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k
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k
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d
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k
lasfasdfasfdadsfasfdasfdasfd return to status quo

TLDR version: asd;fljka;s;jlsfsjlkfdjl;asfdjl;dfjl;aljdjlaf;jlkd;lljksdljafjd;klasfasdfasfdads
fasfdasfdasfd beer

ahahah this your best post ever by far ahaha
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toast
post May 9 2010, 08:48 PM
Post #13





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QUOTE (VIXotreb @ May 9 2010, 09:38 PM) *
ahahah this your best post ever by far ahaha

i feel that the general consensus is going to be that this is a really shitty post
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VIXotreb
post May 9 2010, 08:51 PM
Post #14





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QUOTE (toast @ May 9 2010, 08:48 PM) *
i feel that the general consensus is going to be that this is a really shitty post

look at me goin against the grain such a badass
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Fever Sleeves
post May 9 2010, 09:45 PM
Post #15





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objectively hilarious
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sonofaresiii
post May 9 2010, 10:40 PM
Post #16


screenplay!


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QUOTE (RotatingHornSection @ May 9 2010, 08:40 PM) *



I think you only get to do that if the joke was obivous, not bad.


--------------------
QUOTE (The Virgin Mary @ Aug 29 2010, 10:43 PM) [snapback]367127[/snapback]
Also, while European women aren't usually fat, most smoke, which is a huge turnoff for me personally. But really, what the fuck...it's just a one night stand anyways, so who cares at that point.


FORE SCIENCE !!
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RotatingHornSect...
post May 9 2010, 10:58 PM
Post #17


Will never get a cool title


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QUOTE (sonofaresiii @ May 9 2010, 11:40 PM) *
I think you only get to do that if the joke was , not bad.


obivous

Also, it was obviously bad. So you can go ahead and suck it.

EDIT: And you're wrong anyway. Brush up on your Simpsons. HOW DO I KNOW YOU'RE WRONG? BECAUSE I'M RIGHT AND YOU CAN'T ARGUE WITH ME ON THIS.

END.

This post has been edited by RotatingHornSection: May 9 2010, 10:59 PM


--------------------
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sonofaresiii
post May 9 2010, 11:15 PM
Post #18


screenplay!


Group: Members
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From: BASICALLY CHICAGO
Member No.: 38



QUOTE (RotatingHornSection @ May 9 2010, 11:58 PM) *
EDIT: And you're wrong anyway. Brush up on your Simpsons. HOW DO I KNOW YOU'RE WRONG? BECAUSE I'M RIGHT AND YOU CAN'T ARGUE WITH ME ON THIS.

END.




...what?


--------------------
QUOTE (The Virgin Mary @ Aug 29 2010, 10:43 PM) [snapback]367127[/snapback]
Also, while European women aren't usually fat, most smoke, which is a huge turnoff for me personally. But really, what the fuck...it's just a one night stand anyways, so who cares at that point.


FORE SCIENCE !!
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